October 6, 2012
And He Doesn’t Even Like Pancakes

Part of my parents’ custody agreement was that my sister and I went to my dad’s, about an hour south of our place in Carney (an older suburb just across the city line from Baltimore), every other weekend. One of the highlights of that weekend, for me, was the one morning when he would make pancakes. Sometimes it was Saturday, sometimes it was Sunday, but almost every weekend we were there my dad made pancakes.

I love pancakes. My stepfather, with whom I lived with my mother, my sister and my stepsister, also regularly made pancakes. Pancakes are my breakfast of choice for my birthday, typically prepared by my stepfather, because I always woke up on my birthday morning at home.

But those pancakes made by my father every other weekend, something was special. He doesn’t really cook, though he’s always baked bread rather irregularly. His two specialties are super-spicy, homemade cheese-its, and pancakes. Those two items pretty much constitute my earliest food memories.

It wasn’t until I was an adult I found out my dad never really ate the pancakes*. They were just for my sister and I, because we loved them.

*Holy crap I just wrote the word “pancakes” seven times in four short paragraphs.

7:50pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVlZowUnjhMs
Filed under: Pancakes Life Word 
September 24, 2012
Banned Words for Food Writers, Continued

These should actually be banned words for any writers, especially ones on the internet: “natch”—because ew—and addressing your audience as “you guys”—because it’s so dumb sounding. Seriously, is their a worse lede than, “YOU GUYS!” No, there is not.

September 7, 2012
New Blood: Getting the Saints Back to the Next Level

saints11:

Ladies and gentlemen of the Who Dat Nation, I don’t think anybody needs to remind you: The Saints have been very good for the last several seasons. Last year, this was an exceptional team, one that went 13-3 and broke ALL THE RECORDS, at least on the offensive side of the ball. But still there was that heartbreaking loss to the 49ers in the divisional round of the playoffs, one that watched the offense explode to make a dramatic comeback, only to have Alex Smith—Alex Smith!—lead a game winning drive in the end. This team can get back to that highest level of play, to the point at which it’s competing for the ultimate prize. That is the point, isn’t it? But what will it take to get us there? Just a little bit of new blood, that’s what.

Luckily, the Saints have a history of finding diamonds-in-the-rough, unwanted or unknown players who make key contributions and become Louisiana folk heroes. We’ve seen how that’s worked on the offensive side of the ball, with San Diego’s castoffs, Drew Brees and Darren Sproles; spectacular undrafted players, Pierre Thomas and Lance Moore; and low-drafted, small school superstars, Jahri Evans and Marques Colston. If the Saints make the jump this year, it’s going to be because of a combination of unknowns, unwanteds and newbies, but this time, all on the defensive side of the ball.

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Last night I drank half a bottle of wine and a couple drams of rum and wrote 2000 words about the Saints’ 2012 season.

(Source: saintsbingo)

August 13, 2012
The Pierre Thomas Jersey

saints11:

By Alexander J. Hancock

A little over two weeks ago, I moved away from New Orleans after about 4 1/2 years living there. I wrote over a thousand words on my personal Tumblr about why I pursued a job in New York, why I accepted it and how I felt leaving New Orleans, with several asides reifying the city and its culture and the people that make it what it is. But I didn’t publish it. Because really, as always, it all comes down to the Saints.

When I took this new job, I knew I couldn’t afford to hire movers and none of my possessions was worth renting a Budget truck. So I moved in my car, selling most of my big items, giving away others and donating a number to Goodwill. But when I was finally packing up my car the day before leaving, it became clear that I still had too many possessions, so I started offloading even more stuff, with a large amount of that going to my neighbor, the godmother of the 3000 block of Dumaine Street, Ms. Barbara. 

Among everything I offloaded to Ms Barbara was a pair of 8”x10” Saints pictures—one of Marques Colston, my favorite athlete ever, and the other of Scott Fujita, both purchased for 20 bucks from Wal Mart in early 2009—that just couldn’t fit in the car. So I asked Ms. Barbara if she or her son Will, who is in his 30s and lives the other half of Ms. Barbara’s quintessentially New Orleanian double shotgun, would want them. She said, “Oh, honey, yes. Give those to me. Will’s got a whole room filled with Saints stuff, he’ll love these.” So I gave them to her.

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Closure

(Source: saintsbingo)

May 14, 2012

“Some years ago, I realized that I was a sort of almost-Southerner. To Southerners, I’m from the North. To Yankees, I’m from the South. Of course the truth is somewhere in the middle: I’m actually from the mid-Atlantic. This realization brought with it a second, more startling one, that my regional identity has always been defined by others.”

—snippet from a piece I’m working on about Southern-ness

3:18pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVlZowLU7u2P
Filed under: word 
April 22, 2012
The NFL’s Concussion Crisis is Terrifying Because Football Players are People, Too

Former Atlanta Falcon Ray Easterling died on Thursday from a self-inflicted shotgun blast to the head. He was 62 years old and had long suffered from depression, insomnia and dementia—three ailments that occur in rates far greater in football players than the general population. And in addition to occurring more often, dementia—along with Lou Gehrig’s Disease, another illness appearing more regularly in retired football players—often takes hold much earlier in life. These are all relatively rare, old-people’s ailments; for football players, they’re common, young people’s illnesses.

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April 5, 2012
"I put an unhealthy amount of stock in the opinions of strangers, that’s exactly what makes me do stupid things, and, poetically, that’s what makes the punishment so effective. Thirty people a day calling me an asshole makes me know and feel, in my heart, that I am an asshole. I’m a real “customer is always right” kind of guy in that regard."

Dan Harmon

This is exactly how I am right now, and frequently at other times, but in a much less grand and much less noteworthy way than someone of Dan Harmon’s stature. When people—anonymous or semi-anonymous internet people—say my work is shitty, I lose major amounts of sleep. I lose sleep when I think there’s a chance that maybe someone might say it’s shitty, or say that some restaurant’s appearance on some random map I’ve done is the result of graft/unethical behavior or of me being an idiot or of me being bad at my job.

We take ourselves too serious sometimes, I think. To quote my grandmother, who frequently says insightful things that I instinctively commit to memory: “I think it’s a sin—if there is such a thing as sin—to waste even one day not being happy.” So the first quote here is from Dan Harmon, that second one is Pattie M Macurdy, matriarch of the surviving Macurdys.

12:22am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVlZowJ6jsDU
Filed under: Word Life Writing 
March 20, 2012
Disappointment

I’m disappointed to find that, in the course of a very good work day, I only write about 800 words. Or, 800 professional words, split up among 5-8 posts of 50-300 words. That’s disappointing because I like to say that the best part of my job is that I’m being forced to write constantly, but I had assumed the actual quantity I was writing was greater than that.

But hey, at least I’m writing.

11:43am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVlZowII3bw8
Filed under: Writing Word 
March 13, 2012
The Hell Do I Do With This?

Last night I had a shit time sleeping. Just couldn’t turn the old brain off as I lay there thinking about the beach and adventures and work and anything else. As I started to drift off, I wrote about 200 words of the beginning of a story. This is particularly odd, because I rarely think about, let alone compose sentences for, fiction anymore, despite writing killer fiction being The Dream. What’s more, this was most definitely set in New Orleans, and I’ve vowed many times that my next piece of non-Eater writing has to be non-New Orleanian. At this stage in my (nascent) career, I need to take proactive steps not to become yet another New Orleans-based local color writer. Don’t know if you know this, but we have a lot of those here. I don’t want to be stuck in the purgatory of local color.

Anyway, kind of liking the sentences I was constructing in my head, I decided to type out some notes on my phone so that I could remember them in the morning. Here’s how my memo read:

Hungry sweaty street. Small street slides into intersection like a crick feeding a river. Why the hell is he wearing a jacket anyway? No, this is esplanade. Cigarette. Sex.

While these notes help me remember what I was thinking about in my head as I dozed off, I’m pretty sure that this handful of stream-of-consciousness phrases is better than any piece of proper fiction I could write.

9:24am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVlZowHwXQai
Filed under: Prose Writing Fiction Word 
March 7, 2012
SAINTS11: They can have our Lombardi Trophy when they pry it from our cold dead hands.

saints11:

by Alexander Hancock

As a Saints fan, it’s impossible to feel anything other than really awful and really angry right now. Setting aside for a moment the organization’s failure to agree to pay Citizen-Quarterback Drew Brees enormous sums of cash money like he deserves*, any fan with half a…

(Source: saintsbingo, via )